Sorority Row (2009)

Sorority Row (2009)

Synopsis:

A group of sorority girls play a devious prank on a mutual friend. The joke goes horribly wrong and a person dies as a result of poor judgement. They all make a pact to keep the crime a secret. Months later, a serial killer starts bumping off the students that participated in the cruel prank. You know the rest.

Reaction & Thoughts:

Slick remake of 1983’s The House on Sorority Row is nowhere as much fun as the original. I kept thinking, “how hard is it to improve upon a cheap ’80s slasher?” Apparently hard, very hard. Sorority Row, written by Josh Stolberg, Mark Rosman, and Pete Goldfinger, directed by Stewart Hendler, is pedestrian filmmaking with a capital “P.”

Okay, I’m going to be honest. The only reason I wanted to see this movie is because I found out that Carrie Fisher (Star Wars) played a key part. I love the actor and I wanted to see Fisher do the old “Boris-Karloff-in-skirt” thing. Alas, Fisher is hardly in the film (mom Debbie Reynolds fared better with the Gothic classic What’s the Matter with Helen?). Little did I know that this remake reworks the premise of the oldie and the role of the house-mother has been reduced to a cameo. I was not only disappointed with Fisher’s inconsequential appearance, but also with the film itself.

The odious shaky-camera never does anything for me – it’s a cheap hack trick. I also found the characters annoying. It’s hard to root for a group of sickies. As for the plot, it is okay for about an hour, but the last forty minutes or so, are terrible. It’s also about fifteen minutes too long. Silly one-liners — of the TV sitcom quality — undermine serious situations. Not funny at all. The conclusion is ridiculous.

The young actors are fine. I don’t expect to see great acting in these types of movies. The real problem is that the characters are unlikable. The young cast includes Briana Evigan (Stash House), Rumer Willis (Hostage), Leah Pipes (Her Best Move), and Matt Lanter (Disaster Movie).

Conclusions & Final Thoughts:

Sorority Row is another remake that bites the ax; stick with the original. Color, 101 minutes, Rated R.

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